we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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