just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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