In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
