He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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