let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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