We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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