This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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