just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
