Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
