Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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