i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
