eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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