So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dick very happy bro
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
