I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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