Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
