# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
