we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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