you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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