she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I did not marry a roomba.
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