So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
