Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
