i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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