I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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