$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
