So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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