she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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