VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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