Im at strip club and am horny
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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