I think I am morally bankrupt
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
