who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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