is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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