Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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