My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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