You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I AM VODKA MAN
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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