Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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