I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
