dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
