If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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