im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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