No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
