I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
