It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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