What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
