so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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