I hope mine doesn't look like that
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
