Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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