My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize