I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have fence marks all over my body
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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