I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
