Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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