You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
